Consent starts at home: Pacific health expert says law reform needs family conversations

A Pacific sexual health researcher says teaching children they have the right to say “no” is just as important as changing the law.

As National promises to introduce affirmative consent laws if re-elected.

Dr Analosa Veukiso-Ulugia, a University of Auckland senior lecturer, says legal reform is only one part of protecting young people from sexual harm.

"A legal definition on its own is not enough because consent is about relationships, communication, respect and understanding boundaries," she tells PMN News.

"If we want to support our communities, we need comprehensive sexuality education, resources that families and communities can understand, and more opportunities for our young people to learn and practise these skills in real life."

National announced on Sunday it would introduce affirmative consent laws, requiring consent to be communicated through words or actions rather than assumed because someone did not say "no".

Conversations around consent begin at a young age. Photo/Unsplash/Ricky Turner

The party says the change would provide a clearer legal definition of consent while leaving the burden of proof in sexual offence cases unchanged.

But Veukiso-Ulugia says the conversation needs to start long before adulthood.

She believes children should grow up knowing they can speak up when something does not feel right: saying ‘no’ or ‘stop, I don’t like it’.

Listen to Analoa Veukiso-Ulugia's full interview below.

She says parents and caregivers can also help children practise those skills in everyday situations with siblings and trusted family members.

"When they're saying it with people that they trust, they start building confidence for situations that might be unfamiliar; they already have that muscle memory"

Veukiso-Ulugia encourages Pacific families to rethink some traditions around physical affection.

"There are other ways to show respect, but it might not necessarily mean going up and kissing someone on the cheek when you've never met them before," she says.

Her comments come as a Youth19 survey of 7374 teenagers highlights the experiences of Pacific young people.

The University of Auckland study, published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health, found 15.3 per cent of Pacific secondary school students reported an unwanted sexual experience, while 9.6 per cent were unsure whether an experience had been unwanted.

The National Party wants to define sexual consent in law. Photo/Unsplash

Veukiso-Ulugia says those findings reinforce what Pacific young people have been saying for years: that they want more support to understand consent and healthy relationships.

She says some young people may freeze during a sexual encounter without saying "no", while the other person wrongly assumes silence means consent.

She says Pacific organisations are already leading work in this space through initiatives including the Village Collective's Navig8 programme, Le Va’s Lali initiative and the Nesian Narratives toolkit, which help families, churches and early childhood educators have conversations about consent, safety, and healthy relationships.

The proposal has sparked political debate.

Labour and the Green Party argue Parliament could pass similar reforms now through a member's bill introduced in 2024.

Dr Analosa Veukiso-Ulugia says discussions about consent are crucial in families. Photo/Unsplash

Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith told RNZ National would introduce its own legislation if re-elected.

But Veukiso-Ulugia says the bigger challenge extends beyond Parliament.

The debate highlights how creating safer communities starts with giving children the confidence to understand their boundaries and know that their voice matters.