‘Why do I want to inflict pain on someone else’: Heavyweight boxer reflects on shock retirement

One of the country’s top heavyweight boxers has decided to step away from the sport, a decision he says was “not ready for”.

Junior Fa announced his retirement from boxing less than a month out from his next bout against Russian boxer Arslanbek Makhumdov.

In a revelation during fighting camp, Fa says his mind was “not there”.

“In preparation for that fight, my mind was trying to be in it but I wasn’t really there. Something was going on with me, and I ultimately decided maybe to not fight this fight.

“I knew I wasn’t ok for this fight, mentally and spiritually, I wasn’t there for some reason. I knew I wanted to keep boxing, or I thought I knew, but as time went on and I continued training I just wasn’t there.

“The philosophy of how I viewed life, not just my sport, but how I viewed life, changed. I really looked down, looked around and wondered why I’m doing this. Why am I training so hard to fight another human being, why do I want to inflict pain on someone else?”

Fa battled these thoughts, trying to make sense of them after spending a long time in the sport.

“I’ve been fighting since I was 15 years old, and it is strange to think this way. That didn’t go away, and so I came to the conclusion that my heart’s not there.

“I’m not willing to participate in this anymore. And that fed into other parts of my life too, I’m choosing to go vegan because I want to disassociate from harm itself.

“I’m on a more direct path, directed to more peace.”

‘You don’t play boxing’

Fa made his professional debut in 2016, getting a knockout victory against Vincent Tutaki at ASB Stadium. Since then, Fa would collect 20 wins and three losses, one of which was inflicted by WBA Interim Heavyweight Champion Joseph Parker.

Over half of Fa’s wins were by knockout, and despite two of his last three fights losing by knockout, Fa was still eager to improve and make his way back up.

“For me, I thought I was going to be fighting for a long time, I thought I’d be fighting realistically into my 40s to be completely honest.

“I had the goal to master the outside game, to use my jab and to move. To be a more intelligent boxer that way. So, I didn’t think about leaving the fight game early.”

Fa says support circles were supportive of the move.

“They were all very accepting because there’s that term ‘you don’t play boxing’ this is a very dangerous sport and you can’t really convince someone to fight who doesn’t want to fight.

“There was no push back anywhere, promotion was fine with it, management, trainers, family were all fine with it.”

Making the decision to leave the sport made things “easier” for Fa, who says it was hard to battle the thoughts of walking away.

“I accepted it, which made things easier because during those times when I’m fighting (the thoughts) when those feelings come, fighting is all I know so why would I throw it away.

“My next fight was booked in so that’s money, it’s good money. So there’s plenty of money to be made, but then I was like nah I have to accept it and move on, because my life isn’t here anymore. It’s somewhere else.”

Junior Fa during a walkout before a fight. Photo/Junior Fa Facebook.

Outside of the ring

After spending twenty years in the fight game, Junior Fa looks forward to people seeing who he is outside of the ring. Fa reflects on a moment where he sought professional help to help make sense of his thoughts.

“There was a time during me battling my thoughts, I saw a therapist because I needed help. As a person, I needed help.

“When I saw the therapist, the way they spoke to me was as a boxer. As ‘Junior Fa’ the boxer, and that really upset me because the boxer didn’t need help.”

“I understand the mentality, I understand everything and they would speak to me like that. Because they didn’t see me as a person, as an individual.”

Fa says this move hopefully shows a more human side of fighters that is missed in a violent sport.

What’s next for Junior Fa?

Junior’s next chapter will look a bit different from his usual trade, as he wants to spend more time “helping others”. His initial response to what was next, he says he does not yet know.

“I don’t know. I definitely know I want to help people directly, but I’m not too sure just yet. I was thinking of stepping into the force because I know they’re there to help people.

“I’m thinking about maybe being a fireman, or a disability support worker. In some type of capacity, I want to directly help people. Thank goodness I got funds there, take my time to make a decision.”