Review: How Lizzo's thick thighs can heal Polynesian girls' inner child wounds

With the Barbie movie craze going on at the moment, it is only fair for me to declare that Lizzo is the barbie doll and role model I wish I had growing up in the 1990s.

“I’m just a chubby little black girl from Detroit," Lizzo declared partway through her performance.

Who in this generation of BBLs (Brazilian butt lifts), lip fillers and Instagram filters is proud to say something like that out loud? Lizzo is who.

The Detroit born-and-raised, rapper, singer and songwriter recently touched down in Auckland for her solo show The Special Tour 2023 and you had to be living under a rock to not have felt her electrifying presence dominate Spark arena.

I’ll be honest, I am not the most fanatical Lizzo fan, so unlike most of crowd at the sold out venue, who sang along to every one of her songs, I know her more for her unapologetic energy, confidence and sass that has helped shift and elevate the culture of female empowerment in the last few years.

The four-time Grammy winner ended her tour here in Tamaki Makaurau and she exceeded all my expectations. I had already anticipated a performance that would be one hunnit (100) but what surprised me as I looked around the arena was seeing women of all different nationalities, shapes and sizes having the time of their lives at what felt like a sleepover with your girlfriends.

Opening her solo show in a mesmerizing silver leather jumpsuit and oversized sunnies, that all the "It girls" such as Beyonce and Kim Kardashian wear, the stage presence of Lizzo commanded the attention and respect of the massive audience. Supported by her all female band “The Lizzbians” and all female backup dancers, Lizzo does not just sing about female empowerment, she lives and breathes it.

So upon stumbling across a review about the concert from the NZ Herald​, I had to reflect on why I felt so defensive of Lizzo, while reading:

“The four-time Grammy winner appeared to keep her energy at a consistent six and a half. With moments that made her seem utterly bored with the show, and other times seeming she was hustling through songs just to get to the end of the night,”

I mentioned earlier how surprised I was by the diversity of women at the Lizzo concert. In my naïve and innocent ignorance, I fooled myself into believing that Lizzo only appealed to girls who looked like me - dark-skinned, chubby and with thick frizzy hair.

Now before I elaborate on “girls who look like me” I am already feeling the piercing judgments of my fellow Poly sisters saying “but you're not big like us”. Please do not let my teenage PTSD, five days a week gym body and keratined hair deceive you. Because my five to 16-year-old photos will in fact back me up (*cue deactivation of all social media accounts for a week*).

Being a brown girl growing up in the 90s, it was not considered ideal or cool to be brown or black and it sure as heck was not cool to be fat. Rewind back to every magazine cover, tv show, MTV video clip, barbie dolls etc that were dominated by skinny, blonde straight-haired, blue eyed, thigh-gapped, white girls (*side eye + triggered*) as evidence.

​Ok, breathe, relax, let’s pause for a bit just like Lizzo did during her show getting the crowd to take part in a meditation exercise which led into her song Water Me. It opens with the lyrics “I am free” and while Lizzo embodies body empowerment she also accentuates the reality she is able to attain this freedom even more so by being a big, black girl.

Society in the 90s would have ridiculed this idea that being fat could bring you this 2020s reclamation of romanticised freedom, let alone make you happy. For us Polynesian girls it hits different because being dark skinned, big (in both size and laughs) and having thick hair was almost always frowned upon, and not just by society but more so your own family. If you were not the target of every one of your boy cousins' mocks then you hid yourself behind baggy hoodies, obedient daughter facades, ipu ki’s or books. Because we all know if you ain’t got the (preferred looks) to survive the jungle, you better be the smartest in the classroom sis.

Somehow in her own unique God-given way, Lizzo has been able to unapologetically contradict what society has forever told us is beautiful by embracing her big body and doing so in a way that has made us Polynesian women finally feel somewhat seen and validated.

Maybe that's why I got a bit defensive when reading that review, also accompanied by the fact that it was written by a beautiful, skinny, blonde-haired woman who to me just does not get it. Lizzo’s presence was enough to captivate an entire arena, that’s not something that is practiced at rehearsals or gained by selling out shows, oh hunny that in our performing arts world is called soul. And it takes a special kind of soul to be able to do that both on and off stage.

I cannot help but dream what it would be like growing up seeing more Lizzos on our screens. And if I may take this moment to indulge in that fantasy, I think it would look like a generation of brown women who are not constrained by our very real realities of gender pay gaps, identity insecurities and people pleasing ipu ki survival skills. But dancing and hyena-laughing on the melodies of our strict grandmother's whispered prayers that we are indeed beautifully and wonderfully made.

So on behalf of the little Polynesian girls who grew up like me, believing we were not pretty or skinny enough to be seen and loved, thank you Lizzo - the little chubby black girl from Detroit, USA - for coming along and speaking to the very cries of our inner chubby brown child.

I walked into Lizzo’s concert distracted with girl thoughts like, do I look ok, is he thinking about me, and I need a hot photo to post on my story. Thankfully that noise was interrupted by Lizzo’s words when she turned to the crowd and asked: “When was the last time you were kind to yourself?”

I can’t speak for everyone else there that night but I left that concert asking myself that very question and felt my inner little chubby brown child give a cheeky “finally” smile.