Dad embraces Tongan and Cook Islands cultures

As Tongan Language Week comes to a close, we look into what culture and language means to a former missionary who learned lea faka-Tonga at a young age.

Stay-at-home dad Matthew Duffus lives in Rarotonga with his Cook Islands wife and their children.

In an interview with PMN Cook Islands host, Susnation Seta, Duffus shared his journey of learning the Tongan language when he lived in Tonga and how he continues to engage with the language in the Cook Islands.

“I learned [the Tongan language] in Australia, how to say malo e lelei and ofa atu. Those were pretty much it. And then I went to a training center in America for nine weeks…

“But definitely in Tonga was where I was able to establish sentence structure and the speed of the language and the jokes and the humor and everything that comes along with it.

“The reason why I learned Tongan was because I was a missionary. And so a lot of the stuff that you do as a missionary is you preach and you talk and everyone wants you to speak at the feeds and at the church.

“There was this pressure to learn a language and I can guarantee I said something wrong every single time that I spoke it.

“I think learning the language is always going to be difficult but if you're trying to and you want to be a part of it then it's going to come as you go.”

Despite living in the Cook Islands, Duffus continues to practise and speak the Tongan language wherever he can.

“I look for Tongan communities everywhere I go. That seems to be my thing. I lived in Hawaii, looked for Tongan community. Moved to the Cook Islands, and I tried to look for the Tongan community on day one just so I can have my people around me and so I can hold on to the language and to the things that I've learned.”

Duffus is also learning to speak Cook Islands Māori for his children.

Duffus said that being a parent also came with a responsibility to ensure your children have that language and culture instilled in them from a young age.

“I feel like as a parent, I'm responsible to make sure my children are connected to that. And so part of the reason…why we moved back here was so that our children could have that.

“That was a huge push for us to come back to the island so that they could be connected to their roots and their people and understand the blessings that they have of being Polynesian descendants and the rights and the privileges that they have to see how the community works and what they can give to the community, what they can take from the community.”

Duffus shared that language is very important in sustaining the culture and expressed his gratitude for the opportunity to learn and grow within the Polynesian community.

Watch the full interview below