'It's OK not to be OK' - Living through Melbourne's Covid-19 lockdown

By Moana Leilua, Player Wellbeing & Development Manager for the Melbourne Rebels​​

Over the last few months, the coronavirus cases in Victoria and the ensuing deaths that followed have rocked our state and brought her to a standstill, literally.

On the 2 August, Victoria declared a state of disaster and Stage 4 restrictions were enforced in metro Melbourne, with Stage 3 restrictions in regional Victoria. This is nothing new to Victoria who emerged from their first lockdown in May, and after enjoying what seemed to be precious few weeks of freedom re-entered the initial second lockdown in July.

So, are we new to lockdown? No. Is this lockdown different from the first? Yes.

The restrictions for starters. It’s hard not to miss the nightly curfews from 8pm – 5am, the mandatory work permits for essential workers, travel only up to 5km from our homes, compulsory masks in public areas, and exercise limited to an hour.

Where people do infringe these restrictions, a hefty financial penalty awaits, and there seems to be a lot of people infringing these with the high number of fines being dished out as of late.

What I have been encouraged by though, is the banding together of our Pasifika community in Melbourne and particularly in my neighbourhood.

The timely production and distribution of Pasifika translations with the Stage 4 restrictions occurred in record time because of the partnership between Standing Together - Brimbank Pasifika group and elders in the community. Additionally, the daily audio updates from the United Pasifika Council of Victoria to ensure that our people remained informed was a testament of the strong networks already in place. United we stand … and are still standing.

"Strange as it may seem, the present constraints have somehow inspired or given room for creativity and co-creation."

Lockdown and navigating working from home during a crisis has not been easy. What we’d expected to be only a couple of months has extended to almost six.

Even the virtual access into our homes, no longer reserved to just family and friends, has extended out to work colleagues, and at times strangers – all via this evolving world of virtual meetings. Tools like Zoom, Microsoft Teams and other online platforms have permitted people (some we never would have invited) a glimpse of the four walls (or wall) we would call home.

Perhaps in this new accessibility we may come to see people in a new light, particularly where children, spouses and pets appear in the background.

Strange as it may seem, the present constraints have somehow inspired or given room for creativity and co-creation.

For instance, collaborating with friends via zoom one night in Aotearoa resulted in us launching a ‘talacast’ (word play off a podcast) which focused on inspiring and empowering Pasifika female athletes.

What started as casual musings and aspirations shared between friends, became a reality.

I joined an Aunties Club and participated in 42 days of wellness challenge, I’ve listened to a range of podcasts, read books that have been sitting gathering dust for months, explored professional and personal development opportunities.

I’ve been productive in trying to maximise this gift of time, but truth be told, it's been exhausting too.

"It is ok to not be ok, to not have it altogether, to acknowledge that there are going to be days where you don’t feel like doing anything but be still; and this is okay. "

What have I learnt about myself in the lockdown?

Well, it is ok to not be ok, to not have it altogether, to acknowledge that there are going to be days where you don’t feel like doing anything but be still; and this is okay.

One thing that was important when the guilt of unproductivity reared its head, or the weight of isolation felt heavier than the day before, was to make sure that I didn’t dwell on it and to recognise that the times were not the norm, they were an exception – like a ‘once in a 100 years’ exception.

Yes, a crisis, a pandemic, a disaster, a lockdown … and all these too would pass. Dwelling on them though, particularly in a lockdown period, was a quick step from the healthy zone (mentally and emotionally) to one that’s not.

E lē sua se lolo i se popo e tasi

This Samoan proverb suggests there is more than one way to solve complex issues. Given the complexity of the current context, this proverb reminded me that there were a number of things I could do and lean on during the lockdown to ensure I was okay through it.

Firstly, was recognising the importance of relationships and realising the value of social interaction, even in the physical distancing climate.

Staying connected has led to embracing the screen time, and in some cases reverting to the old-fashioned form of communication such as picking up the phone and calling someone. These are all good things.

Secondly, was remembering that seeking help when things are rough is better than being the hero or she-ro in my case in trying to carry a significant load on my own. Although easier said than done, reaching out or up (sometimes the most difficult step to take) is what I needed to do.

To me, this was practically turning down, or cancelling the noise around me such as the social media rants from 'key influencers', the conspiracy theorists, as well as the internal questions such as what lay ahead for me professionally? Personally? Relationally? Could I really achieve what I need to and wanted to? Was I doing enough working from home?

To cancel those voices was to move forward, see the sunrise the next day and be present where my feet lay planted and just breathe.

Thirdly, was being grateful for what I did have during this time: my health, my job, my community, my faith, my friends, my family and my hope for better days ahead.

So, here's to a successful weathering of the pandemic we're still living in.

Here is my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to the efforts of our frontline staff, our Premier Daniel Andrews and Chief Health Officer Professor Brett Sutton for their resilience, professionalism, and calm during press conferences despite the vitriol that have been thrown their way.

Here is to the curve that is starting to flatten and the deaths that will decrease with time.

Here is my deepest condolences to the families directly impacted by this invisible disease. You are always in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

Lastly, here is to the slogan the Victorian Government public health campaign uses which comes to mind now: Staying apart keeps us together.

Moana Leilua is the Player Wellbeing & Development Manager for the Melbourne Rebels. She has years of experience in people and sports management within high performance rugby, with an avid interest in Pacific peoples in sport. Moana has completed her Master of Business Administration with the University of Waikato.​​